It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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