fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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