thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
