dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
