She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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