I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
