we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
