And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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