My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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