If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
