I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
