I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
