I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
