You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
