I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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