Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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