I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The air was thick with penises
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize