Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
