margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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