Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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