i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
