Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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