I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
