Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
