remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
