Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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