yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
