I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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