Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
