Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
