Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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