We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
