At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
