If i come over, it means nothing
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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