I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just want to make out with him forever
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
