Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
