Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize