I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
