are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
