im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
