As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
