come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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