He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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