Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
