I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
