he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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