the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
