the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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