Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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