For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
