i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
