I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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