i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize