If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
