I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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