Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
