yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
