she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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