I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
