i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
