things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
