I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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