Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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