So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
