i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
