I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
