Sry I called you an 8
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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