just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i think my cat just said my name.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize