Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
