i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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