I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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