I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
