he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
