mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
