He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize