home. puking in laundry basket.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
