I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
