Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
